Wednesday, January 13, 2021

Day 13 of 365 - Charging

 Sorry no real post today.  Taking a break for some me time.  Bath and a book! 

Tuesday, January 12, 2021

Day 12 of 365 -I am Ready to Soar

 If I haven’t mentioned it yet, I have decided to set off onto a journey of self fulfillment. I have had several situations and things happen in my life, that have truly wakened me. It has shown me that much of the choices I have made or tend to make are mainly based on the needs of others. 

I am now more conscious of my actions these days and I really think about if I want to do something because it makes me happy versus if it will make someone else happy. But most of all if I am doing it just to keep them in my life. 

I like any change in lifestyle there may be relapses, but I am keeping myself accountable. I have lost too many people who were huge parts of my life, and I am still healing from the loss. But now I see that if they truly want to be in my life they would be. So I am listening to the universe, my heart, my mind and mostly my soul. 

I had a reading today. An awesome woman, Kendra Valentin of the Dragonfly Wellness Center, who I believe I was destined to cross paths with read my cards. I was curious to see what energies and messages were out there for me. And, it only confirmed all that I knew. I need to find me, I have to find ways to enjoy life. To free my spirit and allow the fun and carefree Liz soar! I need to do more that makes me happy and allow myself to open myself in every way! By opening up and rising high enough to see the bigger picture, the true message. I need to clear my mind to be able to receive the guidance I need! 

Ladies and Gents! I am clearing my thoughts and I am choosing me! I am releasing my wings, and this bird is ready to soar!!!!

Monday, January 11, 2021

Day 11 of 365 - I am Human

I am human! I started to beat myself up, because I am feeling down. I started to think that I failed to achieve my goal of positive thinking and happiness. But, I remembered that I am human and it’s okay to hurt when you see someone you care for not doing well. And on top of that my mom’s heavenly anniversary is next week. I own my pain, I embrace it and I will heal.

Sunday, January 10, 2021

Day 10 of 365 - I CAN!

 When we think of fitness, exercise and strength, we never think of our minds.  But, the truth is that our brains are the strongest organs in our bodies!  It controls everything we do.  It controls how we move, how we see, taste and so much more! If you allow it, it can make you believe things that aren’t real or true.  

Although it can, you have the power to change your mindset! If you tell yourself you can’t, you won’t! Think about that the next time you want to achieve something, I can!  

You can be confident, you can be great, you can be happy!  

Saturday, January 9, 2021

Day 9 0f 365 - Human Connection


Maybe it is the fact that I almost died yesterday, or maybe it is because we are in the midst of a pandemic where so many are dying.  Or maybe it is the fact that we need to quarantine and stay away from friends and family members.  Whatever it is, I know now and I appreciate it with ever fiber of my being!  HUMAN Connection!  I like to think that those who are close to me and those who may have had very little connections with me, know just how very grateful I am to them!  And most of all what they truly mean to me!  

Today I was blessed with some girl time with one of my besties!  We linked up via zoom and then FaceTime when zoom started to freeze up.  It wasn't anything fancy.  We logged into twitch to watch and listen to DJ Uch Wally while he mixed it up on Twitch this evening.  We had time to catch up on our lives,    discuss some of the recent shows that we watched and laugh.  Nothing fancy, no bells or whistles.  Just two friend shooting the shit and laughing!!!! 

I leave you with this.... They say you only live once, but the truth is, We live Everyday, we only die once! Live, Live like it is your last! Continue to keep yourself safe and those around you, but think outside the box, and maintain relationships with those that help keep your spirits up!  

LIVE LAUGH and LOVE!!!! Tell those you love that you love them!  

Friday, January 8, 2021

Day 8 of 365 - Death by Chicharron

Yes! I survived! I can live to tell you all how I almost died by choking on a pork rind!  

Picture it, a the Bronx! A Plumbing office where I work Monday through Friday! I had just returned from parking my car, because of alternate side of the street parking rules.  

After parking my car today, I walked to the corner store to pick up some milk for the office.  While I was there I decided that I wanted to much on something.  So I grabbed a bag of pork rinds. Why not, Right? I pay for the items and I walk back to the office.  

I get back inside and I wash my hands take off my coat, put the milk in the fridge and I take my pork rinds with me to my desk.  I haven't sat yet, but I open them up and I pop one in my mouth.  My throat felt dry, but I figured I would take a nice gulp of my water to wash it down.  All of a sudden I realize that the damn thing is not going down, I can't swallow and I can't breathe!!!!!!! I froze and tried to look around to see what I could do.  I thought, this has happened before, once when I was having a panic attack.  That's it I am panicking and I need to just calm down.  I try to relax. But, I still can't breathe!!!!! I know!!!!! Drink some water, that will do it.  It will wash it down and I will be okay.  Shit!!!!! That didn't work, now I am choking more because the water can't go down.  I Know!!!! Cough, keeping coughing!!!! My face feels like it is on fire!  What am I going to do?  I know!!!! CALL TRAIN! He will know what to do.  If you can't breathe, you can't TALK!!!! 

I try to breathe through my nose, but I can't breathe.  I start to see spots in my eyes!!! I know!!!! Make yourself throw up!  It will come out!  I am banging on my chest, I am coughing, I AM GOING TO DIE!!!!! I am not sure how I got there, but now I am in the bathroom and I am folded over, and I am blacking out!  I start bending over the toilet and I am trying to clear my air way!  I am feeling light headed and it is getting hard for me to stand. I imagined myself like Fred Sanford in Sanford and Son when he was having one of his attacks! This is it!  This is it!!!! I kept telling myself, I am going to die, here alone and no one will know until they try to find me.  I start picturing my family worried for me! This can't be it!  This can't be the end.  I had to make it!  I don't exactly how, but I tried to take a deep breath in and with all my might, I mean my eyes felt as if they were bulging out now.  It was all or nothing!  I thrust my torso forward and I am not sure if I coughed, blew out.  Whatever it was, I felt relief!  It was out and I took a breath in!  My knees buckled and my body was shaking.  I couldn't control myself.  I was relieved and terrified.  I cried, and found my way to my chair!  

I am ALIVE Bitches!!!!!!! I survived the Killer Chicharron!!!!!! 

Thursday, January 7, 2021

Day 7 of 365 - I didn’t let anyone see me touch my balls today

In my last post I mentioned having children with special needs, and how their accomplishments are like winning the lottery!  Well, Tuesday my son’s teacher called to check in and discuss Donovan.  Donovan is 14 and has Autism.  He is fortunate to be able to go to school 5 days a week.  

He was obsessing about summer school and high school on Monday.  Usually the first thing he says when I get in from work is, “Hey Mom, what’s for dinner?” But, instead it was “Hey mom, I don’t want to go to summer school and I don’t want to go to High School!” I thought, wow their prepping him to transition already? It’s only January. But I talked to him and tried to calm him, by letting him know his favorite person in the world goes to high school.  His sister Devynn.  He asked questions and we all took turns talking to him about it.  

I meant to follow up with his teacher and shoot her an email, but this is the busiest time of the year for me at work.  So I forgot, but she called to discuss his new obsession with High School.  Long story short a student asked where the High School was and this triggered Donovan. We decided to get him a social story to work through it.  THEN....... she begins to tell me that she believes Donovan “has found himself”.  Well, he found “himself” a while ago I said.  He tends to stim and pat his lap area.  But he hadn’t done it a while.  She goes and says that he’s not patting, but it looks like he’s touching it.  She thinks he doesn’t understand what is going on.  I let her know I am open with Donovan and that I don’t want him to be ashamed of it, but that he needs to as he calls it “trying” when he is alone and no one else is around, because it’s unexpected and gives people uncomfortable thoughts.  So when he’s home he will find his alone time.  

I let her know that when I got home I would speak with him.  And I did.  I explained that he cannot touch himself in public, just like “trying”.  It is unexpected and gives people uncomfortable thoughts.  He said ok and wouldn’t do it.  

On Wednesday I get a call from the hubby and he’s hysterical laughing.  He said that the minute he got home from school, he announces, “I didn’t let anyone see me touch my balls!” 

Yes, Ladies and Gents! That is a win!!!!!