Wednesday, August 4, 2021

Don't Block Blessings


Don't block your blessings

For way too long I spent my life comparing myself to what and how others were doing.  It took me a while to figure it out, but I know now that by doing this I was blocking my happiness. 

Now my focus is to only compare myself to who I was yesterday.  My mission is to be a better me, by taking it day by day, understanding that there will be times that I relapse. But by being aware of my actions and my reactions, I will do better to appreciate what I already have.

Today three things that I am grateful for are

 My Children. They have shown me to love without judgment and unconditionally.  Watching them grow, laugh and live life fills me with a joy that I have never ever felt before having them.  I cannot imagine my life without them in it. 

My Husband. He has taught me that it is okay to relax a bit and trust the process.  That although things may seem grim, Things will work out.  Even if it isn’t the way you expected them to. 

My Home. Home is where I can appreciate nature and nurture my family.  My home is my sanctuary.

Wednesday, January 13, 2021

Day 13 of 365 - Charging

 Sorry no real post today.  Taking a break for some me time.  Bath and a book! 

Tuesday, January 12, 2021

Day 12 of 365 -I am Ready to Soar

 If I haven’t mentioned it yet, I have decided to set off onto a journey of self fulfillment. I have had several situations and things happen in my life, that have truly wakened me. It has shown me that much of the choices I have made or tend to make are mainly based on the needs of others. 

I am now more conscious of my actions these days and I really think about if I want to do something because it makes me happy versus if it will make someone else happy. But most of all if I am doing it just to keep them in my life. 

I like any change in lifestyle there may be relapses, but I am keeping myself accountable. I have lost too many people who were huge parts of my life, and I am still healing from the loss. But now I see that if they truly want to be in my life they would be. So I am listening to the universe, my heart, my mind and mostly my soul. 

I had a reading today. An awesome woman, Kendra Valentin of the Dragonfly Wellness Center, who I believe I was destined to cross paths with read my cards. I was curious to see what energies and messages were out there for me. And, it only confirmed all that I knew. I need to find me, I have to find ways to enjoy life. To free my spirit and allow the fun and carefree Liz soar! I need to do more that makes me happy and allow myself to open myself in every way! By opening up and rising high enough to see the bigger picture, the true message. I need to clear my mind to be able to receive the guidance I need! 

Ladies and Gents! I am clearing my thoughts and I am choosing me! I am releasing my wings, and this bird is ready to soar!!!!

Monday, January 11, 2021

Day 11 of 365 - I am Human

I am human! I started to beat myself up, because I am feeling down. I started to think that I failed to achieve my goal of positive thinking and happiness. But, I remembered that I am human and it’s okay to hurt when you see someone you care for not doing well. And on top of that my mom’s heavenly anniversary is next week. I own my pain, I embrace it and I will heal.

Sunday, January 10, 2021

Day 10 of 365 - I CAN!

 When we think of fitness, exercise and strength, we never think of our minds.  But, the truth is that our brains are the strongest organs in our bodies!  It controls everything we do.  It controls how we move, how we see, taste and so much more! If you allow it, it can make you believe things that aren’t real or true.  

Although it can, you have the power to change your mindset! If you tell yourself you can’t, you won’t! Think about that the next time you want to achieve something, I can!  

You can be confident, you can be great, you can be happy!  

Saturday, January 9, 2021

Day 9 0f 365 - Human Connection


Maybe it is the fact that I almost died yesterday, or maybe it is because we are in the midst of a pandemic where so many are dying.  Or maybe it is the fact that we need to quarantine and stay away from friends and family members.  Whatever it is, I know now and I appreciate it with ever fiber of my being!  HUMAN Connection!  I like to think that those who are close to me and those who may have had very little connections with me, know just how very grateful I am to them!  And most of all what they truly mean to me!  

Today I was blessed with some girl time with one of my besties!  We linked up via zoom and then FaceTime when zoom started to freeze up.  It wasn't anything fancy.  We logged into twitch to watch and listen to DJ Uch Wally while he mixed it up on Twitch this evening.  We had time to catch up on our lives,    discuss some of the recent shows that we watched and laugh.  Nothing fancy, no bells or whistles.  Just two friend shooting the shit and laughing!!!! 

I leave you with this.... They say you only live once, but the truth is, We live Everyday, we only die once! Live, Live like it is your last! Continue to keep yourself safe and those around you, but think outside the box, and maintain relationships with those that help keep your spirits up!  

LIVE LAUGH and LOVE!!!! Tell those you love that you love them!  

Friday, January 8, 2021

Day 8 of 365 - Death by Chicharron

Yes! I survived! I can live to tell you all how I almost died by choking on a pork rind!  

Picture it, a the Bronx! A Plumbing office where I work Monday through Friday! I had just returned from parking my car, because of alternate side of the street parking rules.  

After parking my car today, I walked to the corner store to pick up some milk for the office.  While I was there I decided that I wanted to much on something.  So I grabbed a bag of pork rinds. Why not, Right? I pay for the items and I walk back to the office.  

I get back inside and I wash my hands take off my coat, put the milk in the fridge and I take my pork rinds with me to my desk.  I haven't sat yet, but I open them up and I pop one in my mouth.  My throat felt dry, but I figured I would take a nice gulp of my water to wash it down.  All of a sudden I realize that the damn thing is not going down, I can't swallow and I can't breathe!!!!!!! I froze and tried to look around to see what I could do.  I thought, this has happened before, once when I was having a panic attack.  That's it I am panicking and I need to just calm down.  I try to relax. But, I still can't breathe!!!!! I know!!!!! Drink some water, that will do it.  It will wash it down and I will be okay.  Shit!!!!! That didn't work, now I am choking more because the water can't go down.  I Know!!!! Cough, keeping coughing!!!! My face feels like it is on fire!  What am I going to do?  I know!!!! CALL TRAIN! He will know what to do.  If you can't breathe, you can't TALK!!!! 

I try to breathe through my nose, but I can't breathe.  I start to see spots in my eyes!!! I know!!!! Make yourself throw up!  It will come out!  I am banging on my chest, I am coughing, I AM GOING TO DIE!!!!! I am not sure how I got there, but now I am in the bathroom and I am folded over, and I am blacking out!  I start bending over the toilet and I am trying to clear my air way!  I am feeling light headed and it is getting hard for me to stand. I imagined myself like Fred Sanford in Sanford and Son when he was having one of his attacks! This is it!  This is it!!!! I kept telling myself, I am going to die, here alone and no one will know until they try to find me.  I start picturing my family worried for me! This can't be it!  This can't be the end.  I had to make it!  I don't exactly how, but I tried to take a deep breath in and with all my might, I mean my eyes felt as if they were bulging out now.  It was all or nothing!  I thrust my torso forward and I am not sure if I coughed, blew out.  Whatever it was, I felt relief!  It was out and I took a breath in!  My knees buckled and my body was shaking.  I couldn't control myself.  I was relieved and terrified.  I cried, and found my way to my chair!  

I am ALIVE Bitches!!!!!!! I survived the Killer Chicharron!!!!!! 

Thursday, January 7, 2021

Day 7 of 365 - I didn’t let anyone see me touch my balls today

In my last post I mentioned having children with special needs, and how their accomplishments are like winning the lottery!  Well, Tuesday my son’s teacher called to check in and discuss Donovan.  Donovan is 14 and has Autism.  He is fortunate to be able to go to school 5 days a week.  

He was obsessing about summer school and high school on Monday.  Usually the first thing he says when I get in from work is, “Hey Mom, what’s for dinner?” But, instead it was “Hey mom, I don’t want to go to summer school and I don’t want to go to High School!” I thought, wow their prepping him to transition already? It’s only January. But I talked to him and tried to calm him, by letting him know his favorite person in the world goes to high school.  His sister Devynn.  He asked questions and we all took turns talking to him about it.  

I meant to follow up with his teacher and shoot her an email, but this is the busiest time of the year for me at work.  So I forgot, but she called to discuss his new obsession with High School.  Long story short a student asked where the High School was and this triggered Donovan. We decided to get him a social story to work through it.  THEN....... she begins to tell me that she believes Donovan “has found himself”.  Well, he found “himself” a while ago I said.  He tends to stim and pat his lap area.  But he hadn’t done it a while.  She goes and says that he’s not patting, but it looks like he’s touching it.  She thinks he doesn’t understand what is going on.  I let her know I am open with Donovan and that I don’t want him to be ashamed of it, but that he needs to as he calls it “trying” when he is alone and no one else is around, because it’s unexpected and gives people uncomfortable thoughts.  So when he’s home he will find his alone time.  

I let her know that when I got home I would speak with him.  And I did.  I explained that he cannot touch himself in public, just like “trying”.  It is unexpected and gives people uncomfortable thoughts.  He said ok and wouldn’t do it.  

On Wednesday I get a call from the hubby and he’s hysterical laughing.  He said that the minute he got home from school, he announces, “I didn’t let anyone see me touch my balls!” 

Yes, Ladies and Gents! That is a win!!!!!  

Wednesday, January 6, 2021

Day 6 of 365 - Want In One Hand and Sh*t in the Other



Growing up, whenever I asked my mom for something, she would tell me "Want in one hand and Shit in the other, see which one fills up first".  As a kid, I didn't understand what it meant. But now I know.  You can want things, but unless you do something to get it, you have nothing.  I find myself telling my kids the same thing as a mom myself.  We live in a world where it is encouraged to want the latest things and keep up with everyone else.  And it is great to want things, so that it motivates you to strive and work for things, but we must teach our children to appreciate the simple, little things in life.  Such as a roof over your head, food to eat and family to go to.

This past year, 2020, was rough. Schools and businesses shut down. We had to quarantine and wear face masks. There was a shortage of toilet paper and paper towels. I have lots of reasons why I could sulk and be sad.  I am a mom to three children with special needs and  my husband is unemployed.  The world is in chaos and partially shut down.  But, if I just changed my way of thinking and how I look at stuff, It wasn't all bad. My kids struggle because of their disabilities, but they are amazing and their accomplishments are like winning the lottery over and over again! I am employed and I have a great boss who is understanding.  We have a beautiful home and moved to an amazing community in Westchester County!  

Having things shutdown made us slow down and focus on each other more.  We were able to spend quality time with one another.  We painted pottery and played games.  We spent time in the home that we bought, and was able to catch up on chores and repairs that we never had time to do.  It taught me so much! It taught me to be grateful for what I have, because they are blessings! I have three Once I decided to stop worrying and feeling sorry for what I didn't have, and focus more on what I do have.  I am great!

Day 5 of 365 - Time



 I know I am a day late, but I am not giving up.  For me the most expensive and precious gift anyone can give you is their time!  It is something that we can never get back.  So please don’t take it for granted when someone is there for you!  Make the time they invest in you, worth it!   

Monday, January 4, 2021

Day 4 of 365 - Fight or Flight



 To quote the great Bob Marley, You don’t know how strong you are until being strong is your only choice! Fear can paralyze you. 

Being a mom of children with various special needs, ranging from Autism to Dyslexia, you learn quickly that you have to stand your ground, but most importantly pick and choose your battles.  I’ve had my fair share of moments where I needed to be strong.  What I’ve learned most from these moments is that I will do whatever it takes when it comes to my children and family!  But most of all,  that it’s the strongest ones that need the most support.  

Sunday, January 3, 2021

Day 3 of 365 - Self Worth



Self Worth, is something that too many sell themselves short. I know that for a long time,  I did.  If I’m being honest I relapse too much when it comes to my self worth.  I tend to let my need to make others happy, over power my own needs.  

What I realize is that I eventually become overwhelmed and resentful.  So I am making a more conscious effort to make choices and things that will make me happy.  I am worthy and deserving of happiness.  

Saturday, January 2, 2021

Day 2 of 365 - Self Love/Care



Bottom line is you are no good to anyone if you are not well. Remember to take care you. It may mean asking for help or delegating responsibilities to someone else.  Whatever it takes to be the best you!  Even the sun sets at night! 

Friday, January 1, 2021

Day 1 of 365 - Empathy



Empathy is a simple application of the imagination. The ability to imagine what it would be like to experience what someone else is experiencing can be crucial to moral sensitivity. - Gene Edward Veith Jr. (Reading Between the Lines)

Today is the first day of the New Year!  I am going in with no expectations and with a grateful heart and mind.  My first thought when I woke up this morning was Thank You and that I needed to continue to stay focused and grateful for all that I have.  I opened my gratitude app and decided to complete my 14 day challenge.  Today it asked me to think of an ability that I possess and why I am grateful for it and how it makes me feel. 

Well after careful thinking I chose my ability to be Empathetic.  I truly believe that empathy is an amazing ability to possess, because it means that you think of others and you imagine what it would be like in their situation.  It helps you see things through their eyes.  It makes a better human being.  

As humans it can be difficult to see past your own needs and wants, but we should try.  Next time you’re in a situation where you may have to make a decision or judgement, take a minute to think about where the other person is emotionally, mentally and physically.  It could change your life and theirs!