Turning the page

For as long as I can remember diabetes is something I've lived with. I personally didn't have diabetes, but I'd watch my mom nursing my dad and herself because they were both diabetics.  My mom monitored both their diets and their meds.   She'd lay out his pills. Prepare and give them both their insulin injections. She also kept track of their blood glucose levels daily.  They'd be pricking and poking themselves so much I joked that if they drink any liquids that it may start to pour out all their holes like a water fountain.  

I knew right away to get either one of them a glass of Orange juice or something sweet if their sugar dropped and keep an eye on them if they'd get dizzy from their sugar being too high.  It was always a concern that I'd get it too.  Both my parents and my paternal grandmother had it.  The fact that I was overweight worried my parents and doctors.  When I was pregnant with my oldest child I tested positive for gestational diabetes, and i needed insulin to balance my sugar levels.  Once I had my daughter, I showed no signs of diabetes, but I was told I needed to be very careful.  

A few years ago I was introduced to Zumba. I really enjoyed it and I started to lose weight.  I decided that it was time for me to take the concerns seriously.  I had three kids that depend on me and i needed to do whatever was needed to spare me a few more years to my lifetime!   I changed my eating habits and excersized regularly.  I was so into it, I started a Bootcamp workout.  I was loving how I was feeling and even more so how I was looking!  I even joined a gym to be able to work out during the cold weather seasons!  But unfortunately, certain things beyond my control took me away from my path of a healthier me.  

My working out began to slowly come to a stop.  I tried working out at home, but it got complicated and wasn't fun anymore.  I started feeling depressed and my anxiety started getting out of control. I fell back into my bad habit of filling myself with comfort foods in order to fill voids and ease my emotions.  I tried to work out occasionally, but I put on weight.  I began to spiral.  

Recently, I have been feeling pretty crappie! And started experiencing symptoms that were familiar.  Constant urge to urinate, feeling thirsty no matter how much water I would drink.  I thought I had developed a bladder infection, but turned out that wasn't the case.  I was tired ALL the time and I had no energy.  I started to see spots and my vision seemed to be getting worse.  So.... It was time to pay my doctor a visit!  

Today I went back for my follow up.  I was tired and thought about rescheduling my appointment.  It was freezing out, but I had been experiencing dizzy spells.  So bundled up and head out!

I was in good spirits for some reason and was greeted by great company when I arrived.  It made the wait at the doctors office go quicker and way more interesting.  (Thank you Junior)!!! 

My doctor wasn't in so I met with the physicians assistant. She was peppy and nice. She chatted with me and said let me tell you the good stuff.  Cool!!! Now here is the bad stuff we have to talk about.  "Your cholesterol is a bit high, if you work on it now you can avoid having to take meds" I thought I can live with that. Then here it was.  "You have diabetes" I felt relieved initially, because now I had a cause for the dizzy spells, spots and constant peeing! We talked about my future and management of my diabetes.  MY DIABETES!!!!!! Holy Sh!t!!! I have diabetes.  I don't have to take meds , but I have to visit the doctor regularly to monitor my diabetes!  

It hit me as I walked home.  I was suddenly thinking about how this was going to change my life completely.  If I didn't take care of myself, my kids Will have to live with diabetes just like me.  

Today I end another chapter in my life and tomorrow I begin a new one.  I will have diabetes, but I won't let diabetes have me!