Sunday, September 8, 2013

T'was the Night Before School...

So t'was the night before the first day of school. when all through the house was football games on TV, and anxious kids who won't go to sleep.

Book bags were stuffed and hung by the door, in hopes that the morning won't be such a war!

The kids keep coming out of their rooms, with a 100 excuses to stay up!

And Mama, on the sofa sore from her 4 mile of hope run yesterday.  Wishing she had stretched!  Dreading the next day. Will the bus show up, what's homework going to be like for Dev, and will Dusty starting Pre-k this new school year, add another IEP to my routine? 

 


I know that many parents and/or guardians are happy about the start of the new school year, but I must admit that I am full of angst and fear.  Having child with Dyslexia and the other with Autism, makes me worry about so much! Will i have to fight for their required services? Will Devynn's homework be too hard for her and me?! Will I find out that my youngest who is starting Pre-k tomorrow has a disability too? 

I love my children more than myself and would do whatever it takes to protect and care for them, but the thought of them struggling, scares me.  And the thought of homework after work has my anxiety levels on high.  Then I start feeling guilty and selfish for feeling this way. I am blessed to have them and I am sure God picked me, because I met the criteria, so as I get ready to lay me down to sleep, I think of an Awesome Poem that an even more Amazing mom shared with me!  She is the Warrior Mom  to a gorgeous Princess named Sophia.  She once told me to read it whenever I start feeling down or losing hope!   Thank You Yadie!!!! 

The Special Mother
by Erma Bombeck
Did you ever wonder how mothers of disabled children were chosen?
Somehow I visualize God hovering over the earth selecting his instruments of propagation with great care and deliberation. As He observes, He instructs His angels to make notes in a giant ledger.
"This one gets a daughter. The Patron saint will be Cecelia"
"This one gets twins. The Patron saint will be Matthew"
"This one gets a son. The Patron saint.....give her Gerard. He's used to profanity"
Finally He passes a name to an angel and smiles. "Give her a disabled child".
The angel is curious. "Why this one God? She's so happy"
"Exactly," smiles God. "Could I give a disabled child to a mother who does not know laughter? That would be cruel!"
"But has she patience?" asks the angel.
"I don't want her to have too much patience or she will drown in a sea of sorrow and despair. Once the shock and resentment wears off, she'll handle it. I watched her today, she has that feeling of self and independence that is so necessary in a mother. You see, the child I'm going to give her has his own world. She has to make him live in her world and that's not going to be easy."
"But Lord, I don't think she even believes in you"
God smiles, "No matter, I can fix that. This one is perfect - she has just enough selfishness"
The angel gasps - "Selfishness? is that a virtue?"
God nods. "If she can't separate herself from the child occasionally she won't survive. Yes here is a woman whom I will bless with a child less than perfect. She doesn't realize it yet, but she is to be envied. She will never take for granted a 'spoken word'. She will never consider any 'step' ordinary. When her child says "Momma" for the first time she will be present at a miracle and will know it. I will permit her to see clearly the things I see...ignorance, cruelty and prejudice...and allow her to rise above them. She will never be alone. I will be at her side every minute of every day of her life because she is doing my work as surely as if she is here by my side"
"And what about her Patron saint?" asks the angel, his pen poised in mid air.
God smiles "A mirror will suffice"